I used to see my life on the outside as typically “perfect”. I had a beautiful family with a loving husband and well behaved children. I was a good person. I was liked by people. I had a home to call my own that was in a good neighbourhood. It was neat and tidy, had nice furniture. I had my own business, a status that I was successful.
But when I looked into the mirror I was so unhappy. I was thinking how can my life be seemingly “perfect” but I was depressed, sad and feeling disconnected?
I strived my whole life to be perfect in every single way. I was seeking approval outside of myself. Perfect daughter, perfect wife, perfect mum, just perfect me, but it was the perfection that was driving my unhappiness and utter disconnect from everything and everyone in my life.
I had reached an incredible “dark” pain point, where I felt incredible shame and guilt about not being that “perfect” Jaime anymore. I felt like I had failed miserably. Who was the fraud I was looking at in the mirror?
So as I discovered my self worth, I felt like I was no longer striving for that perfection. I started to be kinder and more compassionate to myself. I started to accept myself for all my imperfections. I started to learn to love myself. And loving yourself unconditionally is the core of who we are. To no longer judge ourselves harshly, or to be overwhelmed with not being good enough. To love ourselves with no conditions. Because at the end of the day, the truth is, we are all doing the best we can with what we know. No matter where we are in our journey of life.
So as I owned my story, all of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I found courage, compassion and connection I didn’t even know existed. I no longer felt unworthy. I stood proud and accepted me, absolutely all of me. The constant fear of not being enough, and the shield I built of perfection to protect that feeling, started to subside.
And there I was, the authentic me, because I was happy with all of me, and no longer worried about what other people thought. I approved of me for the first time in my life. I truly loved who I was. Because I no longer had to be perfect, I just had to be me.