We all have an inner truth, whether we are aware of it or not. It is at the core of our being. It makes us who we are. And when we allow that truth to surface it can be scary as fuck. Sometimes you’re not even aware it’s a truth within you. And when it’s out, you can’t escape it.
There is something raw and confronting about the truth. You know you cannot hide from it because you KNOW it’s your truth. You can no longer sweep it under the rug, and it hits you like a tonne of bricks. It brings up so much emotion. But at the same time it feels comforting to FEEL your truth.
The inner truth that came out this time last year cracked me so far open that it brought me to my knees. I was completely broken, I was lifeless, but somehow speaking my truth this one particular night, it started to set me free.
Sometimes in life we are gifted with people who can see through the darkness that consumes your life. They reach out a hand to you, and want to guide you towards the light. They are beautiful souls that grace this life time with their presence. I was blessed by one very special soul.
My life was in absolute disarray. I had never been so lost in my life. But I reached out to that hand. I felt safe in that hand. That hand was full of light and joy. Where it was going to take me? I had no idea. But for the first time in a long time, the gentle voice inside me told me to follow. And so I did. And that was the beginning of my unknown truth being told.
There I was sitting in a room of complete strangers except that one soul that lead me there. The room was packed and I sat in the far back corner alone, feeling very alone. I remember looking out the window and seeing my reflection. I didn’t even know who that person was. I was overwhelmed with sadness. My spirit was broken. But I had this overriding feeling that I was exactly where I needed to be. I didn’t know why, it just felt right. I felt a sense of comfort in that room.
As I listened attentively to the women that was speaking, she had a beautiful energy about her. You know how sometimes when you walk into a room and you just feel drawn to people. Well that was the feeling I had. I FELT so much of what was spoken. Not just HEARD it.
So for the final part of the evening we were asked to write an ‘I’m sorry letter to our children’. And as I wrote, the words freely flowed. I couldn’t keep up with my hand. It was like every word, was breaking down the walls that I had so comfortably surrounded myself with. The walls of darkness that had held me prisoner within. I had no idea at the time that I was in fact writing my truth. I hadn’t known what my ‘real’ truth was for a very long time. It was like completing pulling down the blinds, but allowing them to spring all the way back in the same motion. I had hit rock bottom. I was brought to my knees with my head on the ground. But I had fallen forwards. Going backwards was no longer an option.
Although I didn’t realise it at the time, it was the beginning of my truth that set me free. I feel more FREE today, than ever before in my life. And it feels fucking amazing. The more I stand proudly with my truth, the more free I become. And although logically I should be fearful of that, I’m not. It empowers me, because the truth WILL set you free.
The TRUTH is the good, the bad and the ugly within you…
It is YOU. All of you.